Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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