I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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