Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry mm_hmmm hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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(469): View more from Texas

you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.

(616): View more from Michigan

Who said I want to share with you?

(269): View more from Michigan

You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.

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(631): View more from New York

Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"

(631): View more from New York

I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."

(423): View more from Tennessee

Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.

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(541): View more from Oregon

We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory

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(360): View more from Washington

I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining

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