im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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