Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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