I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
