I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
