Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
