we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize