dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
