I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
