Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
