Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
