I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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