He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My bed smells like the plague
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize