I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
