If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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