I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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