I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
