Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
