it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
