how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize