Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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