I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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