My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
