What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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