Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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