they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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