Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
