You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
