Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
