she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
