After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize