i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have demons in me.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
