HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
