i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
