Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
