Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize