I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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