I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
