Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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