You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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