We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
