he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
