There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
