There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize