my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
