My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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