from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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