On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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