This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Did I show you my penis last night?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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