I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
