i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
