btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
