How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
