How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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