The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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