just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
