You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
